"You're a little wonder"

What is the ideal of beauty ? Or what is beautiful any way ? How does one know that they are beautiful ? They say, beauty lies in the eyes of a beholder. So, is it about the beholder always ? Women are often expected to be beautiful for men. I am not making a generalized statement but stating a fact. At least that is what society will have you believe. One has to be beautiful to be attractive to the other sex. It's the heart of men which metaphorically often skips a beat when they see an attractive woman pass. Even, vice versa. But, how does it work when two people belonging to the same gender are in question. I am not talking about Homosexuality per say, because I don't think that I know enough in the area to comment but I am definitely talking about the indescribable Laws of Attraction between people of the same sex.

She had taken the road not desired but the one that made most sense. She was admitted to the college she wanted to study in. But she didn't enjoy it. She had continued to stay in the older abode and had to travel distances now. She would go to college feeling older, responsible and eager and come back exhausted, disappointed and in despair. Nothing seemed to be falling in place. She was told that things will be different here from the last place she studied in but she always thought different could mean both good and bad. She was highly optimistic. One afternoon she came home and was told by one of the fellow residents that there was a new girl in their hostel who was doing exactly what she was doing and seemed to be in real need for help or a person to talk to. My poor exhausted young woman thought before getting lost in her room which was a recluse from all the other worldly issues, a little world created by her for her happiness, she must meet this  new person who was more or less sailing in the same boat as her. She was sweaty and dirty and exhausted , she climbed up to the  concerned floor and knocked. She waited for the door to open and meanwhile contemplated the mess which was about to let her inside in the next few seconds.

After a good 15 seconds someone opened the door and what met her eyes was an unbelievable woman. A pretty but wrecked damsel of sorts. She was weepy and teary eyed. Our young woman introduced herself and received what seemed like a nod from the other side. She didn't quite understand  what happened in the last couple of seconds but still she gave her an offer to help in anything she would need help for and went back to her pleasure palace, the little room in the corner that separated her from the world outside. A couple of days later while passing by the new girls floor she thought she must check up on her and she did, hoping that the wonderful girl might still not be crying. Much to her surprise she wasn't. She was extremely elated instead and welcomed her with an apology for the last time. Offered her to sit inside her little abode that separated her from the world outside. These two women living in the same building, that was home to a hundred other women, were trying their best to be alone. Two women from two different parts of the country, two different educational backgrounds and modes of upbringing, wanted the same things from life. Our weepy beautiful girl soon declared that she was happy because she had everything packed and was leaving forever. Yes, you heard me right. The older, more experienced of the two women had given up. She did not want to go through with the torture of what was to follow. She felt like she didn't belong but only till she met our new young woman, who had recently started to feel much older.

They got into talking. Soon, the younger one began telling her the million stories about their university and how it's the most fantastic place to be. After a good 2 hours of talking our little woman had accomplished what she wanted. She had convinced her to stay. If I have not already mentioned, I should. Our little young woman was a passionate soul. Passionate about all little things in life. A thinker, a dreamer, a day dreamer, a lover of poetry, history, literature and all arts. Everything around her according to her was part of a continuously playing movie that centered around her and everyone else that featured in the background were just the filler people who are present on movie sets to show the crowd. Whoever came in contact with her was given a part in the running movie and whoever she didn't know, was well, an extra. So this was one of the many crazy ideas that occupied the mind of our little young woman. She was new to life. It seemed like she had learnt to live only recently. She had evolved from her rotten past experiences with rotten decaying people. Her soul was now much more alive than it ever was and she had recently been aware of her being, her body and embraced what is called the feeling of being in a woman's body. So when our weepy met our little wonder, she was stirred to the very soul to see the presence of so much life inside a little person.

They fell in 'fascination'. Our little wonder fell for the calm and composure of the new friend she had made and the other one fell for the sheer sense of life in the her. They began to spend most of their time together. Without realizing they were much closer than they knew. The older one couldn't help but compliment everything about her younger friend. Her hair, her eyes, her sheer sense of looking at everything differently, to the point where she believed that she knows no other woman as beautiful as her little friend, while,our little one too absorbed in the microcosm that she had created around herself basked in the sudden influx of tremendous love and care from her older friend. They were the happiest two beings possible. They longed to see each other. They visited places together. Stayed up all night, just talking. They danced and laughed together. Their laughter could be heard through the whole, otherwise awfully dull, building.They began to share each other's interests. The young woman began to go to the park to appreciate nature and love trees. Hugging everyone, or every thing, even trees for at least 20 seconds became a must in her way of life, exactly like it was in her new friend's. While, the older beauty began to visit monuments and enjoyed talking and discussing ideas and reading with the new perspective of our young charmer.

All things were great between them until, another object of beauty and love came to share the abode and led to what became an unknown competition between our two joyful buds. They grew insecure, firstly from the pain of being separated from each other and not knowing that. Secondly, from the unsaid, unwanted competition that existed without their knowledge. The third with no intention of ruining what existed and abundant love to offer came in their lives and unknowingly resulted in the remnants of two broken souls, broken friendships and broken lovers. The nights spent in contemplation of life and the conversations still haunt the two but one is too egoistic to communicate and the other two unforgiving to reconsider...

"Aaj Ki raat Bachenge toh Seher Dekhenge... " the songs they sang to each other still remind the two of each other.

Complicated relationships are not just a heterosexual luxury. Female sisterhood is one of the most complex form of relationships because we don't know how to befriend people and leave it at that. We are passionate and we fall in love. The idea of a best friend will never make so much sense in a relationship that doesn't involve women. We either make people our own or never call them friends. Two women can never completely like each other, they say. But they couldn't be more wrong in making that assumption. Two women who used to be great friends and aren't any more is not because they can't like each other for long but because they liked one another to the point of loving. It is nothing less than a broken love affair and most times even worse. One grows up and moves on from unrequited or broken love but a fall out between two girls never stops haunting them. Because somewhere the love sustains, mostly unrecognized and more often willingly neglected and subdued.

The Woman's body.

"Dude ! Look at those boobs !", "What an Ass ! I could totally do her"

While men talk about a woman like this, they only see the outside. Simply what meets the eye. A"do-able" ass, a pair of boobs and a hole between the legs that is crying aloud to them, "Come fill me in" ! That's precisely how much a woman is objectified every day, everywhere. A woman's body is broken down into parts and sections and exposed to the unrestrained voyeurism of a "band of robbers" willing to grab, cup and defile. How feeble and base is the imagination of these men who think of the woman's body as simple a riddle as this that they can solve it in eleven minutes or so. A woman's body is much more than just that. When men say, "It is impossible to understand a woman", they are only referring to the complexity surfacing on the outside. Unaware of the maze of a gazillion complexities going on the inside.

When a woman says, "I love being in a woman's body!", She means it ten times more than a man will ever understand. The initiation of such a remark is generated somewhere behind the forehead that deserves a thousand years of praise, travels through the eyes that widen, look deep into the eyes of the unaware listener and immediately generate a spark, reaches and comes out through the curves of the lips and twirl of the tongue and is heard through the vibrations that are producing the sound effect. But, is that all ? Of course not ! It goes way deep.

Women are beautiful. A woman's body is a beautiful piece of art. We know. But, so are men. Have we forgotten The Dorian Gray and his enigmatic beauty, or Adonis for that matter ? Women are beautiful, their bodies are aesthetic, true. But there is a lot more than that. The body of a woman is a Byzantine when compared to that of a man's. No this isn't about menstruation or child birth, I am not even beginning to hint on menstruation or any biological process. This is about how women feel about their bodies. All women will agree with the declaration of Tiresias that a woman receives much more "pleasure" in the "act" than a man. Even then we find men lusting them and the act more ! That's similar to the insatiable appetite of those who only know half the pleasure of an experience. In this sense men are like the bourgeoisie, who in their pretentious nobility are only partly aware of how the aristocratic nobility actually "feels".

"Feels". Yes that's precisely what I want to reach. Women feel each and every movement of their body parts a lot more than men. They are always conscious. No there is no science behind this but yes , twenty two years of experience. We are always playing a role. Women are constantly acting it out. We know which side of our personality-rich selves have to be switched on and when. Also, please don't take it as a diabolical trait. Because it's not. Women feel every curve of their bodies and are far too aware while curving it than men will ever think about. Each step they take, each movement of their beautifully carved and kept hands, each toss of their head, stretch of their neck and roll of their eyes is carefully calculated. That's not because women fake it but because they know how to make use of it. It being their carefully carved bodies. If the human body was only a cover for the soul why would the Lord take so much pains in making so many different ones, all beautiful in their own way. We women understand that. And obviously we can't disappoint or waste any of our inbuilt talents. So, we use it.

When a woman walks past, people turn their heads to look at her. They appreciate the body, the walk but never the artist behind presenting it in that manner. Women are not only art but also the artists who exhibit their best forms at all times. An artist who knows her best colours, brushes, lines and curves. We enjoy being our own canvas. Men are surprisingly very naive in assuming that women use makeup, they dress and act in a certain way to receive their compliments. I sympathize with all those men who think like that. They fail to comprehend that the first and only person a woman is pleasing by doing all that is herself. Try telling a woman she is beautiful on a day she knows she is looking horrible. She will like the compliment, love you for saying so, but, at the same time know that you are lying, or are simply too much in love. She will never believe you. NEVER. 

The woman's body is as beautiful as a man's is, at least in it's unkempt bare form. They do complete each other. But, women are equipped with the wonderful art of making it much more artistic and heavenly. It's an inherent trait in our nature. We just can't help being beautiful at all times ! ;)