Desire

Desire. A sensation locating its place somewhere in the middle of conscience and choice. A desire buds through a temptation and then cements itself in the back, front, middle and at times all over the human mind. I know this seems blasphemous, the use of words like desire and temptation that could be read as eternal sins but do we really submit to the conscience or work towards the fulfilment of our desires ? Desire leads to happiness and everyone around the world is in the pursuit of nothing but happiness. Then why not ? Why not let the desires rule out your conscience and strive towards its consummation. At least, this is what they did. The two of them. Who were religiously pursuing each other in the midst of the hustle and bustle of the eighties while the constantly moving chariot of the sun God declared day and night as days passed.

Once they had made room for a kiss, passion flew like waters from an open dam. There was no stopping them, no looking back. Carnal love is not to be damned. Contrary to the popular belief, what it really does is bring two people more and more close to each other and finally binds them with an eternal lot. They didn't care of what the world would say. By "talking", the world did what they are best capable of. Why should they not love and exercise their own best capabilities of loving and kissing and being one. Marriage, people consider, is the sole, legitimate initiator of the exercise of such a passion. A desire for love making. It provides the license but who knows this passion is obligatory or not. Who knows if people involved in the act are only procreating and not loving. Why are the carnal pleasures assumed only to be a recourse to populate an overtly populated world ? Why is this pleasure not an outcome of unrestrained passion where love leads to procreation as a product of love and not a means to an end ?

She had her hands locked around his neck and was looking eagerly into his eyes once they had opened after the spiritual commingling of their lips in a lip lock. He was burning with desire and read the same fire in her eyes. He tightened his grasp a little more around her waist and drew her closer to himself and soon she loosened her locked hands from around his neck and let them fall through his back up to his chest. The signals had been sent and well received. She knew it was time to be swept off her feet and placed on the spongy bed and turn red the white bed sheet. It was a historical moment in her life because it was her first time. Barely had she known that it was his first too. They both swam deep into each other and were both as happy as one can be. They had never been happier or more passionate.

They were both excited but nervous. Nervous but way more excited. They had barely known where exactly to begin because the unavailability of internet had barred a lot of education that we receive today in the modern tech-savvy world. So they just followed the signals their body gave them naturally. They moved from one part to another, from the head till the toes. They were exploring each other like travellers explore new lands and make geography. They were exploring bodies and making art. Art, the form of which was common to all, yet, was different for every couple. The bodies moving slowly to built positions and shapes, only too conscious to avoid hurting the other.

And then suddenly he screamed once, twice and thrice, signalling the completion. He asked her, "did you like it". She blushed and said "of course", barely knowing whether she was done or not. Although it surely was the best thing she had experienced in all her life and wanted more and more.They decided to meet another day, the next perhaps. He left being the happiest man on earth, while she still felt his presence both around and within her. It was a beautiful feeling. They had both explored something afresh. Something only heard till then but now, experienced !

To much of her surprise there were no reds on the bed sheet to mark her chastity. She was astonished and then remembered it couldn't have been so. Was it the swimming pool that had long ago defiled her ? "Then, what is all the fuss really about ?", she thought for a minute. But she was too happy to care. There was a sudden sense of growing up, of becoming a woman. There was a welcome change in her body, or at least she wanted to feel so. She was happy. Very happy. It was worth a million such penetrations. Was something so beautiful kept away from her just because of a wall she had already broken ? She thought. Then again the face of her charming knight took over her imagination and she felt so much more in love. From then on, they were one. Spiritually, emotionally and physically, one.

I do.

Rings that teasingly came forth but vanished before she could say, I do.

They warn. That's all they do, warn you. Don't drink. Don't smoke. Don't go out in the night. Don't fall in love, it's a trap. Love is a lie. But, these two were thousands of galaxies away from those who warn and those who complain and all those who exist. They also say "Don't make a person the center of your universe !". But, they had created a universe of their own. A niche where the center or the corner didn't matter, they owned all of it together. They were like the first borns in the garden of Eden only without the fear of a forbidden fruit or the temptation of limitless knowledge, or anything at all. There was no fear. They merged to create the sublime. What then was left to fear ?

She was like the ocean to him, with a body that was curvaceous like the waves and her presence, an encompassing stretch so elaborate that she conquered his vision. All he could see was her limitless beauty. As far as he searched, all he could find was the depth in her eyes and the truth in her existence. She had cast her spell and he was taken. For her, he was like the sky. Where ever she looked she found him looking right back at her, gazing with eyes pouring down pearls of love. He was a poet and his poetry was the mild breeze that blew through her hair and tickled her face as she smiled.

They lay together all day, drowning in each other's eyes and falling in love each moment. Together they were art. Even lying on bed together seemed like a beautiful piece of art, where the artist has carefully placed two bodies and worked on them so religiously that their eyes make them one. He loved reading to her and she loved listening while she played with her dark deep wavy hair, he thought were like a flowing river. He leaned against the bedhead, with a book in his right hand and a cigarette in his left and read to her. She listened carefully for exactly a minute or two and then blew along with the smoke rings with each fag.

She didn't like that he smoked but was guilty of basking in the artistry that lay before her. She somehow relished watching him smoke. Each time he smoked she was so bewitched watching his bare torso resting on the bed-head and the belted jeans stuck at his hipbone taking drags of the cigarette and reading love sonnets to her that she found herself enmeshed. As he pulled at the bud with his firm lips, a dense array of smoke rings followed that commence together from the halo that his lips form and then disperse. She made castles of the smoke in her head, imagining one smoke ring to tie them forever while another would make a headband.

When the cigarette lounged between the first two fingers of his left hand, she noticed the shape his hands took. Once again she was captivated by the perfection of the carvings of his hands, she looked at them and wished to hold them between hers for the rest of her life.He tilted the cigarette on his fingers and tapped on it twice to drop the ashes that had stacked on the lit end and redid the poetry again from bringing it to his mouth to dropping the ashes in the tray as she lay with him adoring the whole act until the cigarette was pushed against the ash tray and all that remained was the residual bud, last trace of the mesmerizing art she bore in her mind but never produced. Like the wedding ring she saw coming each time but he never produced.